Cross My Heart
by imlaughingnow
Summary: When Beck & his son are going through Beck's old photo albums, he gets Beck to admit something he should have a long time ago. "Dad, who's that? She looks like mom."/\ "You were always a horrible liar, dad. Just say it; you love, Jade West." Bade. Cabbie.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the show or anything. No wait, I own the little Oliver boy.  
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**This was inspired by Long Live by Taylor Swift and also by Definitely; Maybe. **

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**Cross My Heart  
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**.**

"Dad, who's that?" Eight year old Luke pointed to a picture of his father; his hair was longer; fuller. In fact, his father generally just had a lot more hair. His half-lidded eyes and his cool smile made the little boy turn his head to look up at his father. Sure, he looked like the guy in the picture but they seemed like two different people. Beck Oliver's face tightened for a brief second before he sighed heavily and peered over his son's shoulders to get a better look at the picture. Initially he thought his son was pointing to his younger self, but he wasn't; he was pointing at the girl beside him.

The father-son duo had been spending their time going through Luke's baby pictures, making comments about how tiny Luke was when he was born and how he always seemed to like to hide in the corners of the apartment as a toddler. It brought Beck a twinge of sadness as he looked down at the 10 year old lying down on the carpet, pictures strewn haphazardly around his miniature Oliver body. Luke's hair was lighter than Beck's and his eyes were a murky brown. His skin resembled that of a white printer page and he had the temper of a Tasmanian Devil.

"You look different," Luke commented, his eyes meeting his father's.

Maybe pulling out all these old albums was a mistake, Beck thought as he ran a hand through his hair. Granted, it wasn't as full as it was when he was teenager, but he still had a good head of hair left. "That's because back then, I was a different kind of person," Beck said.

"Different how?" His son prompted, and Beck rolled his eyes at how nosey he was.

"I was…just going through the motions; I didn't know what I wanted back then. Hell, I wanted to be an actor back then." Beck chuckled at the thought and rubbed the stubble on his chin thoughtfully. He was only 29 and he felt like he was stuck between his life slipping away and his life not being fulfilled due to him always working late nights and extra hours for the money. It wasn't like he was struggling or anything; accountants don't struggle; but he was divorced and had to get enough money to pay child support and the lawyer.

His wife- ahem, _ex_-wife, got to have Luke during the week and then on the weekends and holidays Beck got his son back.

"She kind of looks like mom," Luke said absent mindedly stroking the girl in the picture next to him. Before Beck could open his mouth and comment, his son spoke up once more, "Can I see more pictures, dad?" Luke hesitated and kept his eyes focused on the picture in front of him.

"I don't know Luke, I don't want you getting the wrong idea…"

"Please dad? I just…you never talk about when you were younger. John's dad never stops telling him stories about his glory days and I realized that you don't talk much about yourself. I just want to get to know you better." Luke mumbled his words and his cheeks flamed bright red.

Beck sighed again, "Okay, I'll be back."

**.**

**.**

"These are your friends?" Luke asked, flipping through the pages of the old photo album. Beck was a bit restless; he didn't know why he never told Luke stories about himself when he was growing up, it never seemed important to him. And he didn't mind not mentioning those days either…there were things he just wanted to forget.

"Yup, that's Aunt Cat." Beck pointed to a picture of the smaller redhead girl who was smiling brightly next to two other girls; one of whom wore a slight scowl.

"No way!" Luke exclaimed, "Look at her hair! It's red!" Luke threw his head back and laughed.

"She was eccentric to say the least," Beck shook his head and let out a light laugh. Cat sure was different now. In fact, she went by Caterina, but only to those who didn't know of her Hollywood Arts days. Cat stopped dyeing her hair and left for a year after graduating to travel the world and get inspired to make some music. Except, when she returned, she was different; focused. Like she had found all the answers she was looking for.

.

"_What happened to you?" Beck asked her one day when he caught her alone. _

_She shot him a smile, "I guess I grew up. When I was alone, you guys weren't there to baby me."_

"_I never realized we did that…" Beck admitted softly and helped her set the table in the Vega's backyard for Tori's latest BBQ lime._

"_It's fine." Cat even started speaking differently. Her voice wasn't airy-fairy and she wasn't as bubbly. "I saw a lot of things that made me realize that life wasn't as easy as I thought," she seemed to be struggling to find the right words. She put down her handful of knifes and looked at Beck sharply; she seemed to be searching for something in his eyes. She sighed heavily and Beck assumed she didn't find what she was looking for. "One day, it'll happen to you, Beck. It'll all hit you and you'll realize that who you are right now and the life you're living makes you happy, but not as happy as you want it to."_

_He was silent and they heard Trina yelling for some ketchup from the kitchen, "What about music? You love to sing."_

"_I know, I still do but that's not what I want to do with my life anymore." Cat's voice was firm and she was self-assertive, something Beck had never heard in her voice before. "Do you know why I really left Beck?" The 19 year old shook his head, "I left because my parents told me my brother had a mental illness. For my entire life, I listened to them tell me he was just acting out and looking for attention just so I wouldn't be afraid of him; and I believed them. All those trips they took with him, all the times we moved when I was a kid, it was to get him treatment. I was so innocent enough to believe them. I left because I needed to get away, to clear my head. You know?" She asked, setting the knife next to the fork. Beck didn't respond because, quite frankly, he didn't know what to say._

"_So what are you going to do now?"_

"_University; I think I want to be a psychologist." She placed another knife on the table, "I want to learn more about the human mind; why people act a certain way, why people push away those they love the most." Her eyes bore into his and Beck scratched the back of his neck awkwardly; he didn't know what she was trying to insinuate. _

"_Never pegged you as the type," He said and she laughed._

"_Do you want to know something, Beck? The reason I considered Jade to be one of my best friends was because, even though she was mean and rude sometimes, she didn't treat me differently. She treated me the same as she treated everyone else. She was only person who ever treated me like an equal."_

_._

"I can't wait to show her this picture," Luke stifled a laugh and flipped another page. He was in stitches when looking at a picture of Beck in a blue dress and a wig, after he pretended to be Tori and jumped 40 feet for her. "Dad, I didn't know you-"

"It's not what you think," Beck spoke hurriedly; "I was doing a favor for Tori."

"Tori?" Luke looked at him curiously.

"Tori Vega, she used to love playing with you as a baby-"

"Whoa, whoa. Dad, you knew _Tori Vega_? Was she your friend? Did you go out with her? How come you never told me you were friends with a celebrity?" Luke bolted up and got off the ground, his eyes twinkling and his smile growing wider and wider with each second. He was babbling furiously and Beck took a hand and covered his son's mouth.

"Okay Luke, I'm going to remove my hand, when I do you need to calm down." A muffled protest, "Then and only then, I'll answer your questions, okay?"

His son nodded his head furiously and Beck released the small boy slowly and eyed him wearily.

"Tori transferred into Hollywood Arts when I was 16. No, I never dated her." Beck snorted at the thought, "But we were pretty good friends."

"Then how come I've never seen her? If you were such good friends like you were with aunt Cat, how come-"

"You did, when you were a baby; you just don't remember. Your mother and Tori were good friends." Beck said; bringing up his ex-wife was always awkward for him. "But Tori became a star and she didn't have time for us anymore," His son's forehead crinkled. "Not that any of that was her fault; she tried, we all did but soon she was travelling the world and doing interviews and when we did all meet together, we would get mobbed by paparazzi. We just drifted apart, I guess."

"I want to meet her." Luke commanded in a voice that was too much like his mother's, making Beck roll his eyes.

"I'll see what I can do; but I'm not making any promises."

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"_I'm leaving for a yearlong tour," Tori blurted out suddenly, amidst the silence on the hot summer day. They were on the beach, it was one of the last summers they all spent together._

"_Really? That's so great!" Cat said and jumped up to give Tori a big hug. _

"_Ugh, Cat, you're kicking up sand everywhere." Jade said, her hand covering her face, "Oh and congrats, Vega. Guess this means I'll be seeing less of your face around here. Finally." Jade smirked and Tori rolled her eyes playfully. She had long learned not to take anything Jade said to heart. _

"_I'll miss you too, Jade." Tori said sincerely and bent over to grab Jade in the hug, despite Jade's protests. _

_Andre, Robbie and Beck all gave her congratulation hugs and they found themselves back in their original positions. Jade and Andre being the only ones in the chairs while everyone else sat on the sandy floor. Originally, Robbie had brought the seat for Rex, but Jade had strewn the puppet facedown into the sand and sat on the seat smugly, daring anyone to tell her to move. Then Cat took the opportunity to use Jade's legs as a back rest, and well, Jade didn't complain or anything so everyone else followed to suit._

"_Do you guys think we'll all still be friends when we're older?" Tori asked, taking a sip of her can of coke. _

"_I hope so," Cat said softly, "You guys are my best friends." Nobody ignored the way she nudged Jade's legs with her shoulders gently or the way Jade tried to hide her small smile by turning her head._

"_Of course," Andre said, "Why shouldn't we?"_

"_I don't know…"Tori trailed off, "sometimes, life happens and we change. What if-"_

"_Just shut up and enjoy the day, Vega." Jade said, cutting her off before Robbie and Cat took off in a run down the beach to look for shells and Andre and Jade decided they wanted ice-cream, leaving Tori and Beck alone in the silence. _

"_No matter what happens Tori, even if we lose contact with each other, we'll still be friends." Beck said coolly. Tori's worried smile disappeared and she laughed._

"_You're right," she said, "of course we'll always be friends." _

.

"That's a puppet!" Luke squealed and Beck rolled his eyes. "It's pretty creepy," he said, holding a picture of Rex face to face with Cat, with Robbie looming wishfully behind them. "Is that Uncle Rob?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Look at his curls! He had so much hair!" Luke raised his hand to his head and touched his own head of hair in disbelief. "I can't believe it..."

"Well you better believe it."

"He's so skinny too! What happened to all his muscles?"

"I think Cat and Robbie had the biggest transformations. Cat became more serious and Robbie grew into the man he always wanted to be. The ventriloquist act wasn't as successful as he thought and for most of his years after high school, he was a bum. That was when he joined the army. After his girlfriend dumped him, he fell apart. It was just before he admitted that he had feelings for Aunt Cat, when he saw a bumper sticker in the grocery, that he decided to join the army." Beck took a sip of his coffee then looked down at his watch. "It's late, you should get to bed."

"No dad, please. We're almost finished with this album anyway. Just a little bit more, please?" Luke clamped his chubby hands together, lacing his fingers, and bit his lower lip. Sure, Luke loved his sports, but he sure did lay it on thick sometimes. And really, Beck only got to see his son on the weekends, if staying up a bit later than usual meant that he got to spend more time with his son, then why not?

"Okay, but just this once." Luke broke into a wide grin got up to give his father a hug, before he went back to the countless albums open on the carpet. He laid down on his stomach and picked up the picture of Cat, Robbie and Rex once more, scrutinizing them and making note of the differences between his Aunt and Uncle, and his dad's friends.

.

"_Are you sure about this Robbie?" Beck asked the next day. "You still have time to change your mind and take your name off the recruits list if you want to-"_

"_No, Beck; I'm fine. This is something I want to do." Robbie spoke firmly and brought the beer to his lips, making a gagging noise when he swallowed._

"_If you're joining the army, you gotta learn to drink beer better than that." Beck forced a laugh and took a swing from his own drink. They were hanging out in Robbie's apartment. Cat, Andre and Jade were inside, blowing up balloons and dishing out food. It was only thirty one minutes to the new year. Tori was gone, somewhere in Japan and Andre flew in from New York to spend this night together. "Just like old times" he said._

_There was a scandalous laugh followed by a deeper bellow coming from inside. Robbie still had his Christmas lights hanging around the doorway and lining the balcony they were leaning over. The blue and yellow lights were the only things that lit up the house. _

"_Why are you doing this, Robbie? If it's because of Cat, it's-"_

"_Cat was more than understanding. She said she'd wait for me; as long as I needed. You don't get it Beck, I just have to do to this."_

"_No you don't. You'll be risking your life! I don't understand why you-"_

"_It's my decision. I'm going and when I come back, I'll be a new person. I'll be tougher, stronger; mentally and physically."_

"_There are other ways to become strong Robbie, don't you think this is a bit drastic?" Beck took another swing, looking down at the empty streets below them. They were on the 6__th__ floor so everything seemed like they could more than fit into his hand._

"_Can't you just be happy for me?"_

"_I'm just worried about you, man." Beck sighed._

"_You don't think I can handle myself?" Robbie was frustrated. "Everyone else was supportive. They got me, what I needed to do. One day Beck, it'll hit you and you'll realize you're not happy with who you are and what you're done with your life. When it does, you'll want to make a change; you'll want to make it right…I just hope you don't realize it when you're too old to make a change." Robbie shook his head, emptied his bottle then stalked inside. _

"_We've been waiting on you, Robbie!" Called out Cat's voice._

"_Sorry to keep you waiting," Robbie apologized._

"_It's fine, you know I'll always wait on you if you ask me too." Came her response and two loud groans were heard after. Cat and Robbie still sometimes danced around the idea of the two of them being a couple, like they did when they were still 16._

.

"Hey, he looks familiar," Luke pointed to a picture of Andre in which he and Tori were onstage performing one of his songs. "He used to visit us; we used to play basketball a lot." Luke scrunched his tiny nose and blew out a puff of air, squinting his eyes trying to recall his memory of the man.

"Andre Harris," Beck supplied the answer. "My best friend."

"How come he doesn't come around anymore?"

"We got into a fight when I married your mother…"

"Why?"

"Okay, I think that's enough questions, don't you?"

"Dad," Luke crossed his arms defiantly, "just stop making up excuses. I remember Uncle Andre; just tell me why you guys don't talk anymore. How can I remember him if you said you guys got into a fight before I was born?"

"That fight changed our friendship, I guess; we always tried to remain friends, but…there was always that elephant in the room."

"And he's still your best friend?" Luke asked, arching a dark eyebrow.

"He was the only one who ever dared to tell me the truth."

"Well that's what best friends do. Like when I had a bugger and John was the only one who told me."

Beck snorted into his coffee, "Yeah, kinda like that."

"What did you guys fight about?"

"A girl…"

.

"_Beck, you can't do this." Andre said for the umpteenth time that day._

"_We've been through this," Beck had a habit if sighing whenever Andre brought up this argument. He did his trademark hand-through-hair-thing and gave the saleswoman an apologetic smile before turning to his best friend. "Not this again, okay? And certainly not now."_

"_You're making a mistake."_

"_No, I'm not; I'm happy."_

"_You're lying. You always were the better actor." Andre stepped closer and Beck rolled his eyes._

"_Why don't you like her? Why don't you want me to do this?" Accusations flew out of Beck's mouth; he really had it with Andre trying to discourage him from going through with it. Andre was always nagging him about 'doing the right thing' and 'following his heart', which was exactly what Beck was doing in the first place. Right…?_

"_It's not that I don't like her; I do. That's why I'm doing this." _

"_What?" Beck frowned._

"_If you do this, you won't only hurt yourself, you'll hurt her too. You can't just pretend you love her." Andre almost seemed to be pleading with his friend, his dark eyes were wild and his face was distorted. Yes, he was pleading, but he was also upset. Beck was his best friend, but she was his friend too. He couldn't just be a bystander and watch as Beck hurt them both because of his stubbornness._

"_But I do love her..."_

"_No you don't, Beck! You're settling; you're my best friend, that's why I'm trying to talk you out of this before you do something you regret."_

"_I'm going to buy the ring. As my best friend, you're supposed to support me in all my decisions. You're supposed to have my back. Guess I was wrong in considering you a best friend then." The thing with Beck Oliver, is that when he gets upset, he gets spiteful. He snaps and he pokes and prods until he finds out what makes you tick, and then in his weakest moments, his desperation makes him use those hurtful words against you. It was defense mechanism yes, but it wasn't a very good one. _

"_Fine then," Andre backed up and held his hands high in surrender, "you buy the ring; propose and then when you're regretting it years later, don't say I didn't try to tell you that you two were destined to fail."_

.

"Was it because of her?" Luke pointed to the last picture in the album; one of him, eyes closed and mouth set in a wide laugh. His arms were hanging loosely around her waist and she smiled into his grey wife beater under his red plaid shirt. Her long brown hair fell down to her waist and her black jacket was strewn on his RV bed behind them. Her purple tank top fell loosely over her denim shorts.

Beck swallowed, "Yeah; it was."

"She looks like mom," It was the first thing Luke had said when he first saw her in the group picture before but he had cut Beck off before he could reply. "I thought she was too…until I saw her eyes. Mom looks exactly like her, except she has brown eyes. This girl, she has blue eyes." Luke looked up at him and Beck could see the wheels in his mind turning. His dark eyes held such an intensity that Beck was curious to know exactly what his son was thinking of inside that mind of his.

"No, that's not your mother, that's Jade…Jade West." Beck spoke slowly then cleared his throat, "I think it's time for bed." He clapped his hands together and rose from the sofa he was on.

"Dad," Luke gave him a stony look that Beck recognized all too well, "Just tell me." Beck shifted his weight from one foot to the next. Luke was never one to back down; he was resilient and determined. If he sent him up to bed, Luke might even go as so far as to ask his mother about it and Zoey would not appreciate Luke asking around about Jade.

"Andre was trying to dissuade me from marrying your mother." The man admitted, deciding to sink down to the carpet, with his legs crossed, next to his son.

"Why?"

"He thought I was still in love with Jade."

"He thought or he knew?"

"Luke, I love your mother; you know that and I would never-"

"Dad," Luke cut him off and then looked back down at the picture in front of him, "it's okay. I know you love Jade. That's why mom looks like her, isn't it?" Beck closed his eyes, suddenly weary from all the storytelling.

"That's not it; I married your mother because I loved her…" Even to Beck's own ears, his argument sounded weak.

"I'm not mad, dad. I'm not angry or upset or anything; I love you and mom but…but you guys have never been like everyone else's parents. You never seemed in love." Luke avoided his father's gaze when he spoke and fiddled with the edge of the picture in the album.

"Jade and I had been together for 3 years. She was my first everything; my first crush, my first kiss, my first love…. We were kind of like the Titanic, you know? A great love story destined for tragedy. We started to argue all the time and it…it wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't happy. So, I broke up with her." Beck found his heart hammering inside his chest. _Funny_, he thought, _Jade always said she liked to use her hammer to break things into pieces, didn't she? Couldn't she realize that one of those things, was his heart?_

"Titanic was only a tragedy because the guy thought he had to let go. He didn't realize there was space for both of them on the piece of wood. He gave up. He stopped fighting for her and he froze to death. Don't freeze, dad, and please don't give up either."

"We had broken up twice before, so I didn't think this time was any different. I figured she would come and ask me to get back together like she usually did…"

Suddenly he was 17 again, and words were something he momentarily forgot.

A flood of emotions came rushing through him; feelings that he was sure had disappeared. Feelings he tried to bury, to ignore, to pretend they didn't exist. Feelings he never asked for and sometimes, didn't want. Feelings that overcame him in the best of his days, rather than his merely on his worst. When he was younger, he had done a great deal of pretending he was never so affected, so _infatuated _with Jade. It wasn't just like- it was love. It wasn't temporary bliss- she was his permanent haven.

"She didn't come back…did she?" Luke asked after the pregnant pause, filling the silence.

"No, she didn't, son." Luke scooted closer to his father.

.

_Beck slammed his locker shut as Cat and Tori rushed to Jade's side Monday morning, begging for details about her date. Usually, Beck would have no problem with this, okay, that was a lie. He did have a problem with Jade going out on dates, but the mere fact that this was the 5__th__ date Jade had with this Josh guy, was starting to tick him off. Why hadn't she chased him away yet? Why hadn't Josh gotten tired of Jade's brazen attitude? And most importantly, why wasn't Jade stumbling into his arms?_

"_You okay, man?" Andre shot his best friend a pointed look._

"_Fine," Beck spat bitterly._

"_It was just a question. Jeez, chill bro." Andre gave Robbie a look and seconds later, Robbie was with the girls, leaving the two friends alone. "I know you miss her."_

"_Miss who?"_

"_Don't play games, man. You've been sulking like a kid ever since Jade and Josh went on their second date and after their third, you've been ripping heads off and dousing them in bitterness." _

_Beck glared at Andre, "You're imagining things."_

"_If you want my advice-"_

"_-I really don't-" _

"_-I'd tell you to go talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Jade still loves you; I can see it. Everyone can see it, but dating Josh is her way of getting over you. She's never dated anyone when you guys broke up before, did she? If you don't act fast, you'll lose her."_

"_I won't lose her." Beck let out a harsh laugh, "She always comes around."_

_Andre sighed heavily and eyed his friend; her absence in his life had made Jade happier and Beck miserable. It made Andre wonder if it was Beck's bitterness that Jade used to exude when they were still a couple. If Beck was the reason why she was so cold and harsh; she was obviously more important to Beck than anyone had ever realized, including Beck himself. Andre opened his mouth to speak but found that Beck was no longer in front of him, but stalking over to Jade._

_Like an angry Beck and an already peeved Jade ever seemed to be a good idea…_

"_What do you think you're doing?" Beck hissed, cutting Tori off midsentence. _

"_Excuse me?" Jade arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her former beau, disdainfully._

"_Why are you dating, Josh?" _

"_I can date whoever I want. We're not together anymore, I think you made that perfectly clear when you left me standing on Vega's front porch." Beck was momentarily stunned by the steely blue of Jade's eyes before he found himself spluttering an answer. _

"_I thought this was another one of your games where you would run away as far as you could and then get me to chase you back. You were supposed to come back." Jade rolled her eyes and Tori cleared her throat uncomfortably while Cat squeaked. Robbie kept his gaze directed at the tiles of the Hollywood Arts hallway and Andre slowly made his way over to his group of friends._

"_Aren't you so full of shit? What makes you think I'm coming back?" Jade's eyes were narrowed into blue slits now and they were standing dangerously close to each other. Not even Rex dared to speak up._

Because I love you.

"_You always do," he sneered._

"_Fuck you, Beck. Why don't you keep on waiting then, see if I'll come back."_

I will then.

.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Luke demanded, eyes suddenly growing serious.

"Tell her what?"

"That you still loved her?" Beck remained silent, "Look at this picture, dad. I've never seen you look at mom that way. Maybe Uncle Andre was right, you need to tell her. You need to tell her that you still love her; that's why things didn't work out with mom. Because you loved mom, but your heart was still with Jade," Luke slammed a finger down over Jade's face. "You should tell her, but first you need to tell yourself."

"Tell myself what?"

"You need to admit that you still love her." Luke was standing up now, arms crossed and lips pursed together.

"I don't, Luke. That was a long time ago-"

"Liar!" Luke shouted, "You were always a horrible liar, dad. Just say it; you love, Jade West."

Beck blinked and put down his now empty cup of coffee. He stayed completely still. It was ridiculous to think that his high school love had managed to break into his house before he got married and steal his heart, before disappearing into the darkness of the night. It wasn't like they didn't see each other at the occasional get together. They shared short, clipped words and she gave him a sad smile when he showed her pictures of Luke, but that didn't mean anything, did it?

No. It didn't.

His heart didn't do summersaults whenever she spoke to him and he didn't grin like a Cheshire cat whenever he saw her. He most certainly didn't rearrange his plans when Andre informed him that Jade would be attending one of their Sunday lunches. That hadn't happened in 2 years; he hadn't seen her in 2 whole years.

What if she fell in love with someone else? What if she still hated him for the bad taste the breakup left in their mouths and the wide, bloody massacre it made of their hearts? What if she had a husband and kids by now? What if she was happy? Would he destroy all of that just because his 8 year old son believed he was still in love with Jade West?

What was there to love about her anyway?

Her constant complaining (that made him realize just how much he never noticed and appreciated around him before), her impatience (that kept him on his toes), her snarky remarks (that make him chuckle), her pessimism (that was always there to ground him when his thoughts and dreams sent him miles away), her ever-present scowl (that he used to love to kiss into a smile)?

Even if he did…somehow, still have feelings for her, who was to say that Jade hadn't already moved on? That she hadn't already replaced him in her life, like what he did with Zoey; find an exact replica and then force feelings and force love.

Things with Jade were never forced.

As much as he had tried to erase her from his memory, to pretend that he hadn't spent months with a hangover because of their breakup, as much as he had devoted to much time in keeping himself busy; his thoughts always ended up retreating back to the root of all his dark musings; Jade. He could never be happy without her, could he?

"I love Jade…?"

"Yes, you do. It's not a question. It's a statement; admit it, dad. Just admit the truth. It's okay. I promise."

Beck had always wished Luke's eyes were shining blues instead of the murky browns that they were.

"I love Jade West."

.

"_Beck, if we ever breakup, can you promise me one thing?" Jade turned to face her boyfriend; he was half-asleep but she didn't care. His arms were wrapped around her middle and he drew her as close to him as he could. _

"_No, I won't promise you anything, because we'll never breakup." He mumbled._

"_No, just listen, will you?"_

"_Mphh."_

"_If we ever breakup, please don't forget about me…" Beck peeled his eyes open, on hearing the soft tone of Jade's voice. "We're only sixteen, but in a few years, you'll hardly remember my name or what I look like but, just try not to forget, okay?"_

"_I'll never forget you, Jade."_

"_You promise?"_

"_Cross my heart, hope to die."_

**.**

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**(.x.)**

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><p><strong>And, well yeah. That's it. I mean, this could be a twoshot, with Beck and Luke finding Jade and such, but this is also fine by itself. It really just depends on the response, because, I hate to sound all whiney, but response for my fics have been beyond low recently, for whatever reason. So I'm not going to put any extra work into this if nobody's really going to appreciate it. Oh well, for those of you that do review, I love them and I may or may not read them over after a particularly rough day. :) Hope you managed to enjoy some bit of this. Please remember to read&amp;review LeLeD2010 and lowlaury's fics. I love those two dearly and they have some amazing stuff. K. Bye. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own the little kid that clings to Cat whenever he gets himself in deep shit, the bitter ex-wife and the one they now call Josh. As for everyone else, refer to Dan Schneider. **

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_Whoops. I changed Luke's age from 10 to 8, that's why there might be an error here or there. Sorry for any confusion. To those asking, I did name the character Zoey because of Avan's gf. She's a doll in RL though, the exact opposite as to how she's portrayed in my fic. So don't take anything here seriously. _

_The feedback I got was unbelievable. I'm a bit stunned, but I guess that's what I get for bitching at the end, ey? Thanks again everyone. I'm sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting; I tried to make this as non-cliché as I possibly could. I felt so pressured to try and live up to the first half and then…yeah. No. It didn't happen. This turned out waaay more light-hearted than I intended it to. My bad kids._

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><p><strong>(.x.)<strong>

**Cross My Heart**

**.**

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When Beck rolled out of bed that morning, he hoped Luke would have finally dropped the topic. It was embarrassing enough for his son to realize he still had feelings for his high school lover, but it was even more embarrassing the way Luke never seemed to shut up about it. He commented on all their pictures together, he gazed at them for hours and Beck even caught his son sneaking one up into his bedroom. What the hell was he supposed to do in this situation? If word got back to Zoey…Beck groaned and rubbed his eyes wearily and pushed himself off the bed. His bare feet slapped against the cold tiles and he made his way to his bathroom to wash up when he heard a loud clatter.

His ears perked up and Beck blinked and ran a hand through his tangled hair. _What was Luke up to now?_

"Luke, what's going on down there?" Beck asked, exiting his bedroom and heading for the stairs.

"Nothing dad. I'm just getting cereal." Came the rushed response, following by a squeal, a loud pitter-patter and whispering. Beck made a face but he wasn't overly concerned with what Luke was doing in the kitchen. He never made a mess and if he did, he usually cleaned up after himself. His mother was a clean freak and Luke had gotten her habit of needing a clean environment to so much as function. _They were both rather dramatic, really_. Beck climbed down the stairs, rounded the corner and the kitchen came into view, _what was a little mess?_

"What the-"

"Hey Beck," she wiggled her fingers and Beck saw Luke hiding behind her legs, giving him a boyish grin. Oh yeah, he was _so_ getting in trouble for this later.

.

"What are you doing here?" Beck asked a few minutes later, after cleaning himself up, giving Luke a hard glare, and making himself a cup of steaming coffee.

"I think you know what I'm doing here," she laughed, her eyes twinkling and Beck found himself a little peeved at the knowing look she wore.

"Come on Cat, just tell me."

"Luke called me, something about you finally confessing to be in love with Jade. Can't say I'm surprised. But really, why did it take you so long?" Cat sipped the glass of milk Luke had given her, because according to his logic, cats love milk and she was Aunt Cat so it made perfect sense. She didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise so she gratefully accepted the glass.

"What…Luke told you that? When?" Beck spluttered and slammed his coffee mug on the mahogany table. He made an attempt to jump out of his chair, but he be fumbled and couldn't seem to do much of anything at the moment.

"Aw, you're blushing. How cute," Cat commented on his flaming red cheeks and Beck cleared his throat and crossed his arms. Ever since she became a psychologist, Cat enjoyed entering him in her mind games, laughing jovially at his flustered reactions. He would never get used to how poised she was now. "Calm down, Beck. What were you going to do? Throw me out?" Cat shook her head, a small laugh escaping and Beck felt his neck flush and he bent his head.

"Nobody else knows, right? Did he call anyone else?" Beck was too embarrassed to be angry at Luke. Instead, questions flew from his mouth at an alarming speed and Cat simply placed her glass of milk down on the table, crossed her legs and arched an eyebrow at him. It was Sunday morning, so thankfully she didn't have to work today. Her pastel dress hiked up a bit and her curly hair spilled over her shoulders.

"Well…" Cat bit her lower lip and exchanged a look with Luke who quickly scampered out of the room. "We can't make any promises."

"Jesus Christ…"

"Don't say it in vain." Cat didn't miss a beat, "And don't blame this on Luke either. If you had simply listened to us, if you had listened to your heart, you wouldn't be in this mess. Regardless you got Luke out of it, but you still don't have her, do you?" With that Cat went back into the kitchen to wash the dishes Luke had left behind and left Beck there, speechless.

Too many emotions were rushing through him. He fell back into his chair.

"I really shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning," he mumbled. His heart was hammering inside his chest and his tongue felt numb; his throat tightened and his stomach felt queasy.

This really wasn't how he had planned spending Sunday with his son.

.

"Guess who?" a gruff voice called out and Beck didn't bother stifling his groan.

"Is this some kind of reunion at my house now?" Everyone rolled their eyes.

"He's really nervous," Robbie, who preferred to be _Rob_ now, murmured to his wife. Cat giggled and nodded her head, leaning into her husband, while holding Luke's hand in hers.

"Beck's finally losing his cool. Who would have thought?" Beck turned, annoyed at the comment but his eyes widened when he saw Andre standing in the doorway.

"Andre? What are you doing here?" Beck knew they left things off on a bad foot, but Andre was still his best friend. The same smug expression Cat wore earlier had found itself on Andre's face as he greeted Cat and Rob, exchanged manly hugs and a delicate kiss on the cheek.

"You know what I'm doing here."

"Luke, who else did you call?" Beck took a step towards his son. His mind was running blank, his foot was jiggling up and down and he slapped his palms against his thighs. Luke's grip on his aunt's hand tightened and he shrunk back into the woman's arms.

"I didn't call Miss Jade, if that's what you're worried about. I just got us some help."

"We don't need help." Beck raised his voice and Luke sighed heavily. He wasn't afraid of his father; he knew his father would never hit him or anything. Sure, he'd get punished for this later but right now, he was having a lot of fun watching his father squirm. Luke had always looked up to his dad; he was always very calm and level-headed in any and every situation. He never got emotional or crazy like Aunt Cat did sometimes after a particularly long day or if she got excited.

"Trust me dad, you need the help," Luke giggled into his hand at Beck's feigned hurt and held his chest. This Jade lady seemed to have the opposite effect on his father. She made him impulsive, a klutz, jittery and she wasn't even here in person. All these things made Luke more passionate about finding her. She had to know about the effect she had on his father, once she did, Luke was sure she would fall back into love with him. In his mind, for his dad to be able to act this…crazy, the Jade lady must have been as head over heels as she was.

Aunt Cat always told him that the most powerful kind of love came when it was returned. So Jade West must have loved his father as much as he loved her. In fact, when Luke spent the night over by Aunt Cat, thinking back on all the stories she told him, a lot of them could be compared to his father and the Jade lady.

"Yeah, you really do Beck. You can hardly stand still, just relax." Rob spoke, shaking his head after taking the box of donuts and carton of chocolate milk from Andre's hands.

Beck scowled at the adults in the room. He secretly despised how they shot each other knowing glances and smirked at him when they thought he couldn't see. More importantly, he hated how they were all right and he was wrong; he hated how the thought of Jade made him act like this. So many emotions pulsed through his veins; he couldn't pinpoint which was which. Without Jade, he had gotten almost emotionless, cold, icy and then once she was the topic of discussion once more, every emotion he ever felt had burst through the flood gates and crashed over his head, drowning him in regrets, lost chances and the most terrifying emotion of all: hope.

.

"Okay, so who saw her last?" Rob said, as they all sat around the same mahogany table, with Rob at one end and Cat on the other. Andre and Luke were sitting opposite each other and Beck rolled his eyes at their antics. Cat had scribbled down something on a notebook she had found around the house and Rob was using his military voice. They were all stone-faced and serious, even little Luke who could barely be seen amongst the adults.

"This isn't one of your military plans," Beck said dryly and Rob shot him a dirty look while Cat shushed him, with a wave of her hand. Luke snickered and Andre snorted. Beck however, crossed his arms and scowled.

It was around midday and the donuts had been devoured. Everyone had spent the first few hours making fun of Beck for taking so long, and paying overdue bets they had made. Tori had apparently lost the most money and she wasn't even there. Andre told them how she had believed that they would get back together in less than two years. It was something Beck couldn't wrap his mind around, because she was good friends with Zoey.

"I saw her about more than a year ago at the launch of her play. You guys were all there, well, except for Beck because he was still wrapped up in Zoey." Beck wasn't sure how he felt with Andre talking about Luke's mother like that, so he shot the man a pointed look and then looked down at Luke so he got the message. Andre held his hands up and gave him an apologetic smile.

"She seemed pretty happy then," Rob said and Andre nodded his head, as if they were both remembering something or the other.

"Well, Jade and I speak once every month." Cat cleared her throat and sat up straighter in her seat, "she hasn't called this week, but I know she was heading back in town."

"Why?" Beck caught himself asking eagerly, Cat grinned up at him and Andre smirked. "I was just curious…"

"Don't waste time trying to save face," Rob said and held up his hand. His voice was so much deeper now. With the added muscles, broad chest and army buzz, Rob was a different person compared to the Robbie, Beck was so familiar with throughout high school. Beck would have never thought that he would end up being closest to Cat and Robbie, yet here they were, all grown up, living less than thirty minutes from each other. In fact, after his divorce with Zoey, they were the ones who helped him get back on his feet; they let him crash at their house and helped him find a new apartment. He owed them a lot more than they realized.

"Well…this is the part that's so difficult to interpret." Cat trailed off and Beck found himself inching closer to the table. "Last time we spoke, she said she wanted to settle down and start a family; to have kids to wake up to every morning or something like that."

"Well that's great then!" Andre laughed and high-fived Luke under the table. Beck found himself smiling and breathing a sigh of relief; not like he expected things to happen between him and Jade or anything.

Cat however, remained silent, with her lips pursed together and her eyes focused on her notepad in front of her and nothing else. "There's something else…"

Luke groaned and Andre's smile disappeared just as quickly as it had formed.

"She might or might not be married…"

There was silence around the table.

"That's impossible," Luke said calmly, his hands knotted in his lap and his face void of any emotion.

"Well, less than a year ago she told me that her and Josh had reconnected. I knew they were seeing each other; but a few months later he proposed. But in the phone call after the proposal, she never told me if they were getting married or not, just that she wanted to settle down, and none of us have gotten any wedding invitations, so we can assume that they either haven't decided on a date or they broke it off."

More silence.

"JOSH?" Beck wondered who was shouting when everyone shot him startled looks. Oh, it was him. "She's marrying _Josh?_"

"Well we don't know that for sure…" Cat said softly.

"Out of all the people, _Josh_." Andre murmured and Rob frowned as Luke pushed his chair back and ran out of the room.

"I'll go calm him down." Cat said and quietly excused herself. Beck didn't know why Luke was so upset. It wasn't like the love of _his_ life was marrying someone else. Beck sighed heavily, _what was he even thinking?_ Luke was his son. He turned to go comfort him but Andre had stopped him.

"Let Cat handle that."

"That's my son, Andre." Beck spoke bitterly.

"Why do you think he's so upset, Beck? Because he knows how much Jade means to you, he knows from just looking at old pictures. You never told him any stories about her and he's never met her; he's never seen you two interact or anything and yet he knows how important she is to you. He's upset because he wants you to be happy. You know how you can be happy? By finding, Jade." Andre spoke firmly and Rob nodded solemnly in agreement. Together, under their watchful gazes, Beck glanced over where Cat and Luke had disappeared off to wishfully, before heaving another heavy sigh and siting down next to Andre, in the seat Luke had abandoned.

"So what's the plan?" He asked.

.

"I don't know about this…" Beck stood in front of the doorway with his entourage behind him. Cat had chosen his clothes, Andre fixed his hair and Rob was schooling him on how the right sort of self-confidence would make him more attractive. _Robbie Shapiro_ of all people, was telling him how to get Jade.

"Stand up straighter, broaden your shoulders and keep your chin up." Rob said coolly, in an authoritative voice. Beck swiveled his head around, ready to snap at the younger man but Andre elbowed him in the side and nodded towards the door. This was the last address Cat had of Jade's. Cat was fumbling with Beck's shirt whereas Luke stood next to his father, gripping his hand.

"I kind of feel horrible for doing this…" Cat mumbled.

"Why?" Rob turned to face his wife of three years.

"Well, Jade isn't expecting any of this. What if she's happy the way she is? What if I'm ruining a solid relationship she has? I'm her best friend. I shouldn't be…I don't know." Cat sighed and faked a smile when Luke looked up at her curiously. Beck stiffened on hearing her words and Andre kept silent, because, frankly, he was thinking the same thing.

"You're right." Beck said and he took a step back. "I can't turn her life upside down because I didn't know what I had when she was mine." He ran a hand through his hair. What if Jade was married and lived a happy life with Josh? Jade&Josh, Josh&Jade. It even sounded better than Beck&Jade ever had. But Beck had already lost her so many times, and to Josh too. Josh always seemed to be the one she ran to when he screwed up. When they broke up, Josh transferred into Hollywood Arts and wouldn't stop hitting on her until she agreed to go out with them. Everyone expected them to bomb; to be another Beck&Jade, but they never argued; they smiled at each other across the room and Jade never got jealous or bitter. She was softer, nicer; genuine.

The change was uncanny and everyone started looking at him differently, because let's be real, Jade only became that angry and bitter when she started dating Beck. Those who attended Hollywood Arts from the get-go knew Jade to dress in white, to grin widely and speak delicately. She was always the one calming Cat down, who would silently cheer on Andre from the crowd with a beaming smile; eyes crinkling in happiness. She would never be afraid to show her emotions. If she was mad, everyone would know but they also knew when she was grinning ear to ear. That was why Jade was so well-liked by the school population, aside from her insane amount of talents. And then Beck asked her out and in a matter of weeks, Jade lost her white dresses, threw away her headbands and replaced them with long black sweaters and streaks adorning her caramel curls.

Her smiles became smirks and sometimes she squeezed his hand too tightly but he didn't mind. He still loved he, accepted her. Sure, the change startled him, but when the sun went down, and the stars littered the sky arbitrarily, she would shoot him a sweet smile and trace the tattoo across his stomach. She would do everything precisely; gracefully, and sometimes, he'd see her hair pulled back with a headband and envision her in white. These moments never seemed to last too long; soon enough the sun rose and the stars were outshone.

That's why he never opened the door; a part of him knew he had caused this change. Cat patted him on the shoulder and Andre told him _"Maybe it's because of the divorce- it's not your fault,"_ but he knew that was a lie too. She was never really close to her parents and she always knew they were headed for a divorce anyway. Her parents weren't horrible and contrary to belief, her dad didn't hate her. He just had different dreams and expectations for his first-born. He still showered her with gifts, and though he was busier than the average father and bounced from wife to wife more than anyone Beck could remember, his heart was in the right place. After Jade had graduated, they grew immensely close when her brother started acting out and getting into trouble.

"Dad, you have to do this. You have to tell her how you feel." Luke pulled his father's hand, snapping Beck from his thoughts. This silenced the other three adults behind them in the process.

"Luke," Beck knelt down so that he was at eye-level with his son, "sometimes, when you love someone you have to let them go."

"I can't believe he's playing that card," he heard Cat whisper and he shot her a glare before he continued.

"If Jade is happy with the life she's living, then I don't have the right to take that away from her, do you understand?" Beck spoke earnestly, his heart shattering in his ears as he did so.

"This isn't how the story ends. The good guy always gets the girl." Luke said softly, his dark eyes widening.

"Sometimes, the good guy messes up and someone else gets the girl."

"I can't believe I flew in from New York just to see Beck let someone else get the girl, once again." Andre muttered bitterly and Beck's head snapped up to look at the other man.

"What's the supposed to mean?" He demanded.

"You're just handing her over to Josh like you did last time. You never fight for her. Ever think she did all those things because she wanted you to fight for her? To prove that you cared enough to get off your," he glanced down at Luke, "_butt_ and fight for her? She was always fighting for you, always proving herself and her love for you and you did nothing in return. Instead you led all the other girls on, you would run your hand through your hair and sigh, but you would never make the effort. I thought eleven years would make you grow a spine, but I guess I was wrong."

Andre was never a really angry man; he was easy-going and believed in forgiveness. But Beck Oliver was just too clueless, too lazy, too ignorant for him to stay calm any longer. Jade was always a weak spot for him. Nobody but Tori knew he had a soft spot for her and nobody but Tori knew _why_ he had a soft spot for her. Sure, he wasn't in love with her now, but she was still important to him. They grew up together, they shared some of the same memories he held dear and often, she was the reason why he was so musically inspired. She deserved to be happy, just as much as they did. Just as they were.

"If you plan on making amuck of things and then standing by, watching her pick herself up from the wreckage alone again, then you have another thing coming." Andre shook his head and walked away, "I'm going back to my hotel; when you decide to man up and take charge, let me know. But I won't let you hurt her again."

"This is not going according to plan," Rob said before stalking over to Beck. The look he shot Beck let him know that he agreed with everything Andre said. Behind him, Cat sighed and Beck stood numbly, not even feeling Luke's hands slip out of his bigger one.

"Cat, was I really that way?" He turned to look at the shorter woman; defeat was a look that never complimented Beck Oliver.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Beck. But Jade always seemed to give more than you were willing to. Josh…he was never like that. She always knew where she stood with him. She never had to second guess herself or worry about him when he wasn't next to her. You were always so indifferent, nonchalant and forgetful. She used to ignore it sometimes, and pretend they meant nothing, but I think a part of her was relieved when you didn't open the-"

"This isn't how it's supposed to end," a smaller voice said, cutting Cat off, before they both heard a loud knocking on the door.

"Luke, what are you doing?" Beck jumped at the sound of his son's knuckles coming in contact with the wood and roughly pulled him away from the door.

"Coming," a voice called; Beck swore his heart stopped beating, meanwhile behind him, Cat just swore.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." Cat's breathing grew labored and she pushed the frozen Beck out of the doorframe when the handle jiggled.

"Aunt Cat said a bad word," Luke giggled boyishly and Beck quickly quieted him down and cleared his throat. He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, and then took them out; _too casual_, he thought.

.

"Josh, hey." Cat said as coolly as she could.

"Okay, that's everything. Thanks for letting me come over, Josh." Someone called from inside the house before appearing beside the man with a box in her hands. This someone didn't have porcelain skin and her eyes weren't a deep shade of blue.

"Oh my gosh, it's Tori Vega!" Luke squealed and bounced on his feet, running to the lady in question and holding unto her jeans. She wore a baseball cap on her head, but Beck would recognize those cheekbones anywhere and apparently, so would Luke. "You're so pretty in person."

"Luke," Beck called out weakly, but his son, in his excitement, didn't hear his father until Beck grabbed Luke by the hand and dragged him over back outside. Josh cleared his throat and suddenly, everything was quiet once more.

"Can I help you guys?" Josh spoke stiffly. Physically, Josh and Beck had the same attributes where the brown hair and brown eyes were concerned, but Josh's hair was lighter and his jaw was wider. He was more buff whereas Beck was lean. Josh loved to crack jokes and his booming laugh was always heard in a party. He, like Beck, was well-liked in school. There was something he had that Beck didn't; his ability to understand and empathize with others. Josh was passionate and he wasn't afraid to be the village idiot if it meant staying true to whomever the hell, Josh was.

"We just came to find Jade." Cat finally spoke up and Tori shifted the box so that it was against her hip and under her right arm, grunting as she did so.

"Well she's not here." Josh's voice was laced with sadness.

"But Tori is?" Cat arched her eyebrows. Her voice was devoid of any accusations but rather curious. Beck knew better though, Cat did go to a school for Performing Arts, after all. She knew damn well how to act.

"I was just getting Jade's stuff." Tori spoke reluctantly.

"I didn't know you were back in town."

"I've been for a while, actually; taking a break from touring and all that jazz." Tori gave them a weak smile.

"I'm Luke and-"

"Luke Oliver?" That got Tori's attention.

"Yup," the little boy nodded his head proudly and Beck was more exasperated than anything.

"Wow, I haven't seen you since you were a baby. You're a big boy now, aren't you?"

"Wait, so where's Jade?" Cat asked before Luke got all excited and carried away again. The boy was practically bouncing in place. Beck however, was a bit overwhelmed and to be honest, helpless. Ever since Luke had forced him to admit his feelings for Jade West, Beck felt like he had lost the stability he had tried to regain ever since he left high school. He was working on overload or something, and would shut down; his mind would go blank and he wouldn't know what to say or do in certain situations, this being one of them.

It was like the ground beneath his feet had shifted and he was suspended in air, flailing, floating aimlessly, stretching forward and reaching for something to hang unto to keep him in place. For a while, it was Zoey but for the last year and a half, it was Luke; and Luke was a very tiny boy. After the divorce it was Cat and Rob. They were his rocks. They helped him get his shit together when he froze; just like they were doing now. Beck often found that they went out of their way to make sure he was happy, to make sure that he had all he needed. He never thought he'd be the neediest one- he thought Robbie out of all people or maybe even Cat because she was so innocent, yet they were the ones looking out for him the most.

It derailed him sometimes, he was a grown man; he didn't need anyone to take care of him. His pride came and knocked those he cared about the most away from him, and made him walk away, in the ten seconds that she needed him most.

"Jade is…" Tori trailed off and averted her gaze, she shifted her weight from one leg to the next. "She's not here." Cat's eyes narrowed into slits and they bounced between the two in front of her.

"She called things off," Josh admitted and Beck found himself breathing out a sigh of relief. Josh shot him a small glare and Beck didn't both to give him an apologetic smile. They were always tip-toeing around each other, but Josh was no idiot; he knew they both still held feelings for each other and for a while, he had hoped that he could patch up the hole Beck left behind, fill it with new, fond memories, but as much as he tried, Josh was never the right fit. Jade knew it and he knew it, but she never let him go because Josh, unlike Beck, always fought for her.

"And I'm just collecting her things." Tori said, picking off where Josh left off.

.

When they left Josh's apartment, with Tori Vega in tow in an old pair of Levi's and an old t-shirt and baseball cap, nobody really spoke. The silence was unsettling. Andre and Tori took to each other as they usually did, with a smile and a long awaited hug. But when Cat would speak, things would get tense. Not because there was any animosity between them, but because Jade had always been Cat's best friend. After they graduated and Tori disappeared from the picture, Cat was always the one who made the extra effort to keep in touch with Jade, she was the one who called her and she was the one who begged for them to go out together and get some coffee or lunch.

Jade was always too busy with work and Josh to squeeze anybody inside her personal bubble, so Cat took a lot of pride in knowing that Jade dedicated an hour or two every month to Cat herself, when she decided to answer her phone. Now to find out that, after all they had been through, after a lifetime of friendship, Tori was the one Jade had confessed all these intimate details to. Tori was the one who she went to when she needed help. It was like a slap in the face.

Since when did Tori and Jade even become friends? Since when did they even start hanging out? Jade never so much mentioned Tori on their phone calls, she never mentioned that Tori would call her twice a week, she never mentioned that they once vacationed to Paris for a week, she never mentioned how Tori was the one encouraged her to "settle down" and "start a family". Jade never told her any of those things that Tori kept blabbering on about and to be honest, Cat was more than annoyed. She was hurt; betrayed was more like it.

Now she was going to find Jade, just so she could find out what the hell was really going on.

.

"Take us to her," Cat said finally, cutting Tori off. Everyone around her, sans Andre and Luke (because it was obvious they both held her in such high esteem) wore small, fatigued smiles on their faces. It wasn't that they didn't want to hear what happened. It was rather the issue that Tori had disappeared without so much as a phone call or a visit when they were 25. Her career had taken off and yet, she still found time for Jade while the rest of them always did their best to keep in touch. And Jade seemed to value Tori above the rest of them; while she hadn't been to their Sunday lunches in 2 years. her and Tori were as chummy as friends could ever be.

Tori's smile faltered, and for a moment, Beck saw the girl he was friends with in high school; the one who didn't have a smile plastered across her face. Sometimes, her hair would be a mess and her clothes were less than casual. She would make mistakes, frown and raise her voice (mostly at Jade whenever she did something devious- _how did they end up being friends again?_) and stomp her foot like a petulant child. Whenever he saw her on TV or on magazine stands, she was caked in makeup, she would smile radiantly, her dress would sparkle and she would have an air of elegance about her. While that was more than wonderful, Beck always liked Tori better when she seemed more flawed, more human. Like how she was now; her hair in a messy ponytail, the faded grey baseball covering her head and the old rolling stones t-shirt with, what Beck assumed to be, a ketchup stain.

"I don't think I can do that…"

"And why not?" Cat was almost shrieking and Rob put his hand on hers to calm her down.

"Because… she doesn't want to see you guys. Not yet anyway." Tori winced when she saw Cat's expression. Rob was driving and Cat was in the passenger's seat, she had turned back to look at Tori as she spoke, and on hearing her response, Cat pursed her lips, closed her eyes and nestled in her seat.

"Well guess what, Tori. I don't care if Jade wants to see us or not, she owes it to us; to me, so you will take us to her. We have something she needs to hear and she clearly has something she would like to tell us."

Nobody spoke and Tori lamely gave directions to Jade's house. She chewed on her lower lip and clasped her arms around Luke's middle, as he shifted in her lap. They were all taking Rob's car to Jade's house.

Next to Tori, Beck had remained silent. Somehow, this went from being about him confessing his love, to Cat and her frayed relationship. Beck couldn't help but wonder if that's what he did to Jade.

Made her seem like she was the only girl for him (when in actuality, he secretly didn't like the idea of being tied down) and pushed her away when they seemed to be at their best. Beck often used to pick his fights with Jade; but before they broke up, he found any and every excuse to get angry at her, to embarrass her, to knock her down a few pegs. He never knew why he did it, but if he were to be utterly honest with himself, he didn't like how much time she spent with everyone else but him. With Tori, with Cat, with Andre…they were cutting into their Beck&Jade time.

He kinda wanted to shake her up a little, to make her realize that he should be the centre of her world, but that plan completely backfired when she never came back. He was a bit relieved when she smiled the next day at school (it would have broken his heart if he knew how much tears she shed the night before), she deserved to be happy.

Beck had so many emotions about Jade, he could possibly perform a soliloquy about her, but he stopped acting a long time ago. Now he was just a topnotch, divorced accountant with a passionate son, a bitter ex-wife, amazing friends and a high school sweetheart that he was still head over heels in love with.

"Take a left," Tori mumbled. She didn't want to do this, but she saw the desperation in Beck's eyes, she saw the knowing looks Andre and Rob exchanged and she saw the hurt flash through Cat's eyes. And just when she thought she could stand her ground and not risk Jade throwing a fit when she returned home with 6 extra packages, Luke at looked her in the eyes, gripped her hand and said, _"I just want daddy to smile like he did in the pictures"_ when everybody else was loaded in the car. And really, how could she say no to that?

.

"Jadeee, I'm here." Tori called out as they stepped into the penthouse. It was bigger than they had expected; _Jade must have been raking it in_, according to Rob who was silenced with a slap in the stomach by his wife.

"Finally," a familiar voice huffed. Familiar, yes; the same, no. It was the voice Jade used before Beck&Jade ever existed. It was soft, soothing; almost like she was humming a lullaby to a sleeping baby. Her voice was so light, so different that Beck froze behind the doorway. Luke looked up at his father, squeezed his hand and then tugged him forward. Beck already had a dreamy-sort-of-terrified look on his face and Luke wanted more than anything to burst into laughter. In the span of two days, he had never seen as much emotions from his father as he had then, but Tori had told them to be quiet. And when Tori spoke, you tended to listen.

"You were gone for ages." Jade said, her voice echoing throughout her large house. Andre and Rob made themselves comfortable on her leather sofa, stretching back; Jade lived more than an hour away. Rob would occasionally glance at his wife from the corner of his eye; and when he wasn't glancing at Cat, he gave Beck a look Beck last saw the night when he had tried to convince the then, Robbie, from joining the army. _'I told you that your time would come'_ is what the look said, _'good luck'._

"I know, I'm sorry. I was having some issues getting the stuff." Tori held the box in her arms, refusing to let anyone take it from her.

"Really? What happened? You're not hurt are you?"

"Nope…"

"That's a shame then."

"But I will be hurt in a few hours." Tori bit her lower lip. She always did that when she was nervous. Luke started fidgeting and Beck pulled at the collar of his blue shirt. Cat however, didn't move from her spot next to Tori.

"What? What are you talking about?" Jade's voice sounded closer and Beck heard her coming down a flight of stairs from one part of the house.

There was a tense sort of silence and everyone anticipated her appearance. Beck's heart started beating out of control and he was sure he would pass out from the suspense- _what the hell was taking her so damn long anyway?_ He ran his free hand through his hair and tried to fix his appearance. He cleared his throat and Andre and Rob snickered at his antics but he didn't care. Jade was finally going to be standing in front of him.

"This is what I'm talking about," Tori motioned to everyone littered around the room as Jade came into view and rushed to her friend's side after dumping the box on the floor haphazardly.

Jade's hair was longer; it was brown. Her face was blank and she blinked in confusion, eyeing everyone in the room and gripping Tori's hand as she did so.

Jade was quiet.

She didn't say a word.

She glared at Tori.

She pursed her lips.

She crossed her arms.

She was pregnant.

.

"What the hell, Tori? What are they even doing here? Was I not clear when I said to keep this between us?" Jade's fury was one thing that had never changed.

"You're pregnant." Beck said and she rolled her eyes.

"Thank you Captain Obvious."

"I still think it's Catherine Obvious," Tori sighed.

"That's because you're Tori."

They seemed to forget there were other people in the room and Beck wondered what in the hell was really going on. They were bickering as they usually did in high school, but this was more light-hearted. Almost like a trivial sibling squabble. Tori would pout, Jade would cross her arms and huff in a half annoyed-half amused kind of way.

"What the fu-" Rob cleared his throat, "What is going on? Don't pretend we're not here!" Cat said and waved her arms in a hysterical sort of way.

Beck stood where he was, frozen in place. He could hear his own heart breaking and for once he couldn't blame Jade. It was his fault this time.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jade? You said you wanted to settle down, to start a family. You never told me about Josh and you never told me about that," Cat pointed to Jade's stomach and Jade stiffened.

"Guys, Jade can't take handle much stress right now. She-"

"Shut up, _Tori_." Cat snapped, and Beck cringed. It almost didn't seem right to be angry or upset with Cat that hurt. She prided herself on staying poised in every situation she was in, but now everything she had trained herself to be disappeared and she was Cat Valentine again, her hair was red and she acted on impulse. She didn't think before she spoke and she didn't hold anything back.

That was one thing Beck noticed about his friends, about Luke and about Josh. None of them held anything back but Beck, he was always holding it back. He was always finding an excuse not to dive in head first- there was always the possibility that he would fail, that Jade would reject him. That she wouldn't feel as strongly about him like he did for her. That she would be in love with someone else. That she would laugh in his face and sneer while twirling a ring around her finger.

"Cat," Jade started, her vulnerable tone stopped Cat mid-rant. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"But it did, didn't it?" Cat sounded estranged, almost like she was far away.

"I didn't want to take you away from Beck." Jade admitted avoiding their gaze. Tori knew that Jade was extra sensitive because of the pregnancy, two months from now a little Jade would pop out and Jade would be ten times more stressed; if Tori could choose between now and then to get rid of all this drama, then she would choose now. This plus a newborn spelled trouble.

"How the fu-" Rob cleared his throat again and Luke looked up at his aunt innocently, "heck would you take me away from Beck?"

"Want to come with us in the kitchen, Luke?" Andre asked, getting off the sofa with Rob.

Luke shook his head, gripping his father's hand tightly.

"Come on, Luke. Let's let the adults have some time alone, okay?" Tori Vega flashed him her million-dollar smile and in less than a second, he dropped his father's hand and scurried after the three adults, following them into the kitchen. Beck snorted as he watched his son's figure disappear. _So much for loyalty…_

"I know how close you guys are and I didn't want to…to take you from him, I guess." Jade had a habit of never looking anyone in the eye when she spoke the truth. Beck was glad that even though it had only been 2 years, he could still pinpoint certain aspects of Jade that he knew.

"Jade," Cat spoke softly, "I'm your best friend. You know I'll always be here for you." Cat closed the distance between the two and enveloped her friend in a hug. "Wow, this baby is really a barrier for hugs." Cat laughed. She was never able to stay mad at Jade for such a long period of time.

"I know and I-"

"_Aunt Cat,_ come check this out," a shrill, excited voice called and Beck rolled his eyes. Luke never had the best timing. Beck was kind of hoping that the Cat-Jade drama would last longer and he would eventually sneak out of the room, avoiding Jade and the real reason why they were there. But as his son's voice rang out, a deep blue ocean met his murky puddles of brown and Cat excused herself, giving Beck a thumbs-up behind Jade's back.

"We're talking later." Cat said firmly to Jade before giving Beck a hard glare.

.

"So how far along are you?" Beck asked, trying to break the silence. Of course he was dumb enough to ask about the pregnancy. He wanted to slam his face into the marble tiles, but he was doing his best to stay as composed and as cool as he possibly good. Unfortunately his acting skills were rusty- it had been more than 7 years since he had last acted so he really shouldn't have expected anything better. He only hoped Jade wouldn't catch on.

"Seven months."

"Oh."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"What do you need to tell me?"

"What?"

"Josh called, he said that you guys showed up and wanted to tell me something important." Jade fingered the hem of her white blouse.

"Oh…that. Well I was just…"

"Yeah?"

"How come you called things off with Josh?" It was the best thing Beck could think of. He really didn't want to go into detail about how he still had feelings for her. She was pregnant; it was obvious Josh still loved her. If Beck did anything, he would be denying a child the right of a father. It wasn't that this baby posed any problem for him; in fact, Beck didn't really care about the baby's father at all. He just did his best to stop picturing Luke holding a baby girl with curly, brown hair and bright blue eyes. He cleared his throat to get rid of the image of Jade helping Luke get ready for school and of him giving her chaste kiss every morning before he left for work.

It was all too much.

"I was in love with him, but I wasn't really _in love_ with him." Jade said vaguely. He couldn't help but feel a little excited when the words left her mouth. Beck knew women usually glowed during their pregnancy; hell Zoey looked heaven sent, but Jade…Beck wondered if Jade had always had this glow about her, maybe the pregnancy just amplified it somehow? He didn't know, his thoughts were getting muddled. He was no longer one of those people who lived a routine life, who walked in a straight line and never took risks. He was 18 again; impulsive and full of stirring emotions he got whenever Jade's eyes flickered over to him.

"What's going to happen to the baby?"

Was it stupid that he wished the baby inside of her was his?

"Is it any of your business?" She snapped.

Probably.

.

After ten more minutes of tense conversation, Beck excused himself and went to get Luke.

"Did you do it, daddy? Did you tell her?" Luke bounced over to his father excitedly and everyone else looked at him expectantly.

"Tell her what?" Came Jade's voice before Beck got a chance to reply.

"It's time for us to go; Luke's mother is going to be here for him in a few more hours." Beck didn't see the way Jade visibly recoiled but he did see Luke's crestfallen expression and small pout. Cat shook her head from the stool around the island and Andre scowled. Beck didn't wait on anyone else to say their goodbyes, but rather grabbed Luke by the hand and rushed towards the front door, letting himself out.

Luke however, seemed to have other plans, and slipped from his father's grasp. He ran back to the kitchen and tugged on Jade's blouse, pulling out a crinkled picture from his back pocket. Jade hesitantly took the picture from the little boy and frowned.

"Aunt Cat says that a picture says a million words that the mouth can never gather the strength to say." Luke said, and Aunt Cat nodded, egging him along as Beck rounded the corner cautiously. He had everyone's full attention now. "Miss Jade, I forced my dad to tell me about his life as a teenager. He showed he pictures, of Aunt Cat, Uncle Rob, Uncle Andre, Tori Vega and you."

"That's nice but-"

"-And if what Aunt Cat says is true, then you must love my dad back." A small gasp escaped Jade's lips and Beck closed his eyes, and groaned. "I looked at the pictures you have around your house. You don't smile like you did when you were with my dad, and he doesn't smile like that either. I love my mom, a lot but I love my dad too and I can't always be there to make him smile and make him happy. So, I was wondering if you would be there when I'm not so he can smile, just like in the pictures. So he can be happy again- so you can be happy again. So that-"

"Okay, that's enough." Beck said, his cheeks a flaming red. "We really should go."

Nobody moved.

"But she loves you, dad. I can tell she loves you back. It's the look Aunt Cat gives Uncle Rob when-"

"We're leaving now." Beck spoke harshly and Rob motioned to the door. He knew that tone in Beck's voice. He heard it when Beck called saying Zoey wanted a divorce and he heard it when Josh first asked Jade out. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, Jade." And with that, the father-son duo left the house.

.

"You really going to leave things like that, bro?" Andre asked later that night when Zoey came to pick up Luke, giving him and his old high school friends a harsh hello. Everyone sat in a stony silence.

"What else was I supposed to do?" Beck spat out bitterly, "she's pregnant. Seven months pregnant."

"Nobody ever said getting her back would be easy," Rob said, "Nothing ever goes according to plan, but we have them anyway, to give us structure, to give us guidance, to help us believe we're doing the right thing."

"The right thing is letting her know how you feel. For all you know, she could feel the same way." Cat said, intertwining her hand with Rob's and resting her head on his shoulder.

"She has a child to take care of. I won't be responsible for tearing apart its family."

"In case you missed that part, Beck; Josh and Jade broke up. She left him. She's single, and even though she has a child, she's very much for the taking." Andre pushed, trying to get some sort of reaction from Beck but he got none. Instead, Beck sat numbly, taking a swing from his cold beer.

"She's still pregnant…"

"You have Luke. Didn't you think that hurt her? You were only 21 when Zoey got pregnant. Everyone knew she wasn't over you; hell, you weren't even over her, but she forced a smile and sent a gift for Luke's birthday every year, didn't she?" Cat stood up suddenly, "Rob, take me home please, I can't…I just need to-"

"Okay, Cat. Let's go." Rob said, cutting her off with a gentle kiss on her forehead. "You still have time, Beck. It's not too late; if you want her back, you know what you have to do." Rob said before they left.

Thing was, Beck didn't know what he was supposed to do.

Andre left for his hotel 15 minutes later.

That was okay though, because Beck couldn't stand his piercing gaze.

.

.

.

_25 days later_

_._

_._

_._

It was a late Wednesday when Beck heard a soft rapt against his door. He was watching TV in his living room, boxes of Chinese food littered across his coffee table. His suit had long been discarded; his shirt was unbuttoned and his tie hung loosely from his neck. His shirt crinkled at the bottom from being tucked in his pants for the entire day and his hair was a lopsided mess. He hadn't shaved in a few days and he had dark bags under his eyes. Luke had seemed to look at him with some sort of disappointment and closed off most of his emotions from his father.

Beck was still upset with what happened at Jade's house.

Beck was the adult; he was the one who was supposed to confess how he felt about Jade, and he was supposed to do it on his terms.

Another knock.

"I'm coming, hold on for a sec, will you?" He said grumpily and flung the door open. "Jade…?" he said bewildered.

"I got your address from, Cat." She admitted, letting herself in. "I don't think she's fully forgiven me for lying to her, but I know she's trying." Jade lugged in a small bag and dropped it to the floor. "Where's your son?"

"Luke? I only see him on the weekends. What are you doing here? I hope you didn't drive, it's not good for the baby if you're-"

She laughed, "Relax Beck, the baby will be fine. I was just…I was thinking about what Luke said." She was never one to beat about the bush.

"You were?"

"Yes, and he's right. I do love you. I always have. I guess that's why I went out with Josh in the first place; to make you jealous. I faked my feelings for him but you never seemed to care." Suddenly, her smile disappeared and from her eyes, crystals streaked down her face in a torrential downpour. "You didn't even look my way or speak to me until you yelled at me in the hallway. And then you started dating Zoey…and Josh was so nice…" Her voice cracked and Beck blinked. Then he slowly reached for her hand and pulled her close, running his hand through her hair.

.

"I'm sorry I was too late, Jade."

_I won't be late anymore, if it matters._

"I'm sorry too, Beck." She whispered.

_I waited for you for such a long time._

"I see you brought bags."

_I hope this means you'll never leave me again._

"I'm only doing what your son asked. Nobody likes a Sour Sally hanging around. You need to smile more often."

_I miss your smile._

"I guess this is a sacrifice we'll have to make; for the kid of course."

_We can pretend he's ours._

"By the way, you're sleeping on the couch."

_Because I want you to be 2 minutes away, not hours away._

He wiped away her tears.

She smiled brilliantly and he couldn't help the smile that formed on his own lips; his body seemed to act on impulse.

"Don't you wish things could have happened differently?" She asked; her eyes bloodshot and nose pink from crying.

"All the time." His entire chest seemed to ache with longing, with a sort of pain that seemed to slice him open, with each tear that ran down her face. Every emotion he had released over the last 25 days, all the cold, bitter words, the bruised knuckles and the glasses of whiskey- he was glad she didn't walk in on him in that state.

"Our timing is horrible." She forced a cruel laugh but her eyes were still glistening with tears.

[But it always seems to work out in the end]

"I'll wait." He murmured.

[Because I've already kept you waiting for so long]

"Promise?"

[Do you remember the last time I asked you this?]

They locked eyes.

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

[I'll never forget]

**.**

**.**

**.**

**(.x.)**

* * *

><p><strong>Holy shit. This is way too fucking long. 9k? Ah. Idk. I felt like I could have gone on and on with this, but I really needed to stop, that's why the ending is kind of abrupt. In really not pleased with this and in my opinion, the other part far surpasses this. I tried to make it different and failed so hard. This is rather embarrassing. How about we pretend that I never wrote this other half? Sounds like a plan to me. For anyone else who has free time, be sure to check out my other fic, <strong>_Lost and Found_** if you like AUs. Damn, that was some shameless self-advertising there. **

**Give **_Gilded_**_ by _**_lowlaury_**_ and _**_Moonlight Mile_**_ by _**_LeleD2010_**_ a read too. That is all. Other than that, feel free to review and such._ **


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